10 things that I have learnt at Festivals

This week I'm keeping it very simple: I'm going to tell you 10 things I have personally learnt from going to festivals! If you've ever been to one, I'm certain that you'll be able to relate to several of these and if you haven't - ah well... Welcome.

1. Not showering for 5 days straight is not as horrible as it sounds
- Before I went to my first festival (Reading), I was nervous; mostly due to the fact that I was going to be horribly dirty and unable to shower for 5 days straight. The mere thought revolted me and it was the part that I was least looking forward to. However, it turned out that dry shampoo and a packet of wipes did me fine! Everyone was in the same boat as me and let's face it, in a muddy field full of people off of their faces, very few people give a toss what you smell like - there is no room for self consciousness. Getting home and having the longest bath of my natural life was tremendous and made me feel as clean as the day I was Christened. Although not showering isn't the most fun (or hygienic) thing I've done in my life, it was not as dreadful as I thought it would be.

2. I am not as tall as I thought I was
- Over the course of the few days I am at festivals, I hear a lot of music, but I do not actually see any acts (unless of course, they are on a big screen). BUT! Rather than letting this bother me, I tend to close my eyes and get lost in the music, though it is important to remember to put your sunglasses on (no matter how dark it is) so that people don't think that you're dying. This is something I thought was very individual of me until I told Hannah my cunning tactic and found out she was doing the exact same thing. Being short at festivals isn't something that will ruin your time, plus, if you're short enough then you will be the nominated friend to get on a stranger's shoulders when you've lost the squad which is an incredibly useful tool *ahem* Alex Asher.

3. There are evil people in this world that will attempt to mosh to house music
- My moshing days ended the day that my love for metal ended. Back in't day I went to a Bullet for my Valentine gig and at this particular gig, they were supported by Bring me the Horizon - so you can imagine, there was a lot of moshing. So in certain situations, I can understand why a load of angry adolescents would want to relieve their anger by angrily shoving each other to angry music. As a fan of drum and bass, I can even slightly understand it in this environment, but house? Absolutely not. I can tolerate a skank, even a shuffle, never a mosh. Stay out of my dancing space and I'll stay out of yours. As Hannah and I will tell you, when house music is allowing you to reach Nirvana, there is nothing worse than someone bursting your bubble just as soon as you are on the doorstep.

4. Toilets are more disgusting than I ever thought they could be
- I don't know if you've ever been to Reading festival, but if you have, you will know the extent of the hideousness that I am referring to. Nothing, not even the sincerity of my good friend Bella, could ever have prepared me for what I was about to experience. The "toilets" are a hole sitting above a giant hole filled with excrement that only rises throughout the weekend. Not only this, but each toilet seat is covered in bodily fluids and you can only guess what they are. If (like I did) you arrive on the Wednesday, you have two days before you can enter the music arena where the toilets there are only marginally better.

5. Pulling at festivals has to be the most grimey thing in the world
- Not showering for days on end makes you smell like ass, not showering for days on end when you're sleeping in a tent and surrounded by lots of people in a crowd - not even worth trying to describe. Sharing that filth and various other uninviting bodily fluids with another human that you don't know sounds like THE worst possible thing I could imagine. Trying to explain this reasoning to some random who attempted to get with me during Disclosure didn't go down too well as I'm sure you can imagine.

6. Wellies are a gift from God
- If you're at a festival in the UK, it is probably raining or has rained or will rain soon. Therefore wellies will help you from being knee deep in mud/whatever the hell is on the floor. I'm sure Jessica Clayton regrets her decision of not wearing wellies when her big toenail fell off following a heavy skank/sidestep at X. She has well and truly learnt her lesson regarding footwear. Bless her! (I would post a picture of it, but I'm scared she'll dump me as best friend.)

7. Drinks are atrociously expensive
- It is no wonder why UK festivals are notorious for their drug culture when they are able to charge £4 for a bottle of beer. I'm a giant lightweight and that would cost me over £20 to get mildly tipsy for a few hours, let alone sloshed for the whole weekend - which was the general aim of the festival. Unless (like myself) you are lucky enough to sneak in a bottle of vodka, you can end up paying another hundred or so pounds on top of what can already be a very expensive ticket, depending on which festival you have chosen. Best options (I would suggest) are either to rob a bank beforehand, take out a second mortgage or sell a kidney if you aren't planning to try and smuggle alcohol into the event.

8. I discovered music that I had no idea I liked
- From Flume to ScHoolboy Q, festivals have had me standing in a crowd, loving life and the music despite having no idea what I'm listening to. They have introduced me to new artists and new genres alike; I would probably have no idea how much I liked grime had I not been to a festival.

9. 95% of people want to be your best friend
- Almost everyone is so friendly. That guy pissing on your tent? Friendly! That dealer walking around the crowd repeating "Charlie, Mandy, Cat."? Friendly! And you are just another one of those super happy dappy clappy friendly people loving life. The small 5% are those who are just looking to get into fights, but I would argue that there is a similar (if not higher) percentage if you go out to town on a Saturday night, so to the untrained eye, they go largely unnoticed.

10. You have THE best time of your life
- It was only a year before my first festival that I was completely repulsed by the idea of one. I was beyond skeptical about them, vowed I would never go and it was only severe FOMO and an old friend that managed to persuade me. I discovered that I was so very wrong about them. I had an incredible time, from the awful toilets, to eating canned all-day breakfasts and everything that once sounded like hell, I discovered that it was actually just a muddy heaven. I urge anyone who hasn't been to one to go A$AP Rocky. If you're not a fan of camping and you're too precious to go a few days without showering - don't be put off! Ease yourself in with one where you don't have to camp - there are plenty! Or just throw yourself in the deep-end like I did and come back and try to tell me that you didn't enjoy it.