Cameron, Cocaine and a Pig Carcass

You would have had to have been living under a rock to not have heard of pig-gate over the last couple of days. Oh, and that David Cameron has hosted what the media have called “cocaine parties.”

And as a nation we are shocked - disgusted that the Prime Minister of our country once had wild days where he put his “private part” into a pig carcass and snorted a few lines of cocaine. Or are we?

Those of us who have been to University will know all about initiations of some description. Granted, I have never sexually assaulted a dead pig, but I’ve done some pretty silly things in the name of trying to prove myself in similar situations. In those situations, you want to show your new pals how fun you are, how much of a party animal you are and that you're not a bore and if that means doing what David Cameron did – then many would say, so be it.

Bloody hell – I know members of sports teams that have done things of equal craziness; this story, although a great conversation starter, isn’t really THAT shocking coming from the nature of what he was expected to do.

So the question is, why do we hold public figures to such high standards?! Why are they expected to never have any skeletons in their closet? If you ask me, anyone with a bit of character has made some questionable decisions in their life and why would you want a leader without that type of character? David Cameron probably didn't think - "one day I'll be Prime Minister and I will be held to higher standards than another normal human. So I'd best not do what you tell me to do, I'd rather be known as the disobedient fresher and have to do forfeits during my whole University course."

Chances are, Mr Cameron didn't want to disrespect a pig in such a way (it's disgusting), so why did he do it? And why am I not shocked?

Some of you are probably thinking, "well if he's strong willed enough he would just say no and would never do anything horrible that he didn't want to do." But anyone who has been involved in initiations will tell you that, that just isn't how it works. As a fresher, you look to all of your seniors and you know that they have all been through the same things. In a sick sort of way, it makes you closer as a team or group of friends. Again, pretty twisted, but if you prove that you will do whatever it takes to gain their respect, a reciprocal respect grows and you both know what you will do for each other. Which is something that I imagine is really hard to grasp unless it's something you have experienced.

But it’s not just politicians, it’s influential people in the media. For example when Hunger Games actress Jennifer Lawrence’s nudes got leaked (by some awful, awful person who obviously has nothing better to do), she had the best response that I have ever seen. She wrote – 

"I started to write an apology, but I don't have anything to say sorry for. I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he is going to look at you."

It is and was always her body, it was up to her who she decided to share these pictures with, whereas now she has been exploited and her personal images (that she has every right to take and share them with whomever she pleases) are now out there for everyone to see.

I know for a fact that if I got famous the internet would have a field day. I’ve made comments on facebook, sent texts and done things that wouldn’t necessarily be seen as “angelic” but who cares? I should not have to answer to anyone and right now, I don’t need to, but what if one day I am wrongly expected to? I would argue that there are very few people that haven't at least put one bad thing on social media, sent one mean text or done something that they wish they hadn't because if they were ever in the public eye, they would get slaughtered.

When I was younger, I had vile facebook arguments, I declared that I followed the BNP and I did things that now, I would never ever do and that are so not like me. We underestimate how much people change over the years and the choices they make and their points of view. (Cameron probably (probably) wouldn't violate a pig now).

I suppose this argument is completely irrelevant if do you believe that public figures should be held to higher standards, but I personally, do not. Of course they have done things in their life that are a bit (or a lot) nuts, but they probably didn't expect anyone else to hold them to judgement for it in the future! I think it's sad that we have to stop and think "what would others think?" to such an extent before making decisions for ourselves. The public doth protest too much, methinks.

The thing we forget about these people is that (believe it or not) they are people. They’ve done stupid things, they’ve made mistakes, they’ve sexually assaulted a dead pig at uni and we need to get the bloody hell over it.

I read the Bell Jar not so long ago and something that was quite memorable for me was that a character said - before you do something, imagine how you would feel if it was printed on the front page of a newspaper. I disagree with this from this perspective because it's not the person that is perpetrating the act that is in the wrong, it's the person that is holding them to account and furthermore, those who criticise. So I've changed the perspective of the idea and made it this: Before you criticise anyone else for the decisions they’ve made, imagine if all the mistakes you’d ever made were on the front page of a newspaper.

Much ado about Nipples

Get your nips out for the lads feminism.

I'm not talking radical Andrea Dworkin - "violation is a synonym for intercourse", scream at a man for holding the door open for you style. I'm talking healthy, contemporary feminism that everyone can fight for, men and women alike.

The F word (feminism, not food) is one that makes me cringe due to its negative connotations. But technically yes, I am a feminist. According to the dictionary, feminism is "the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes." I think by this definition, most of us by now have realised that men and women need to be equal and we all are therefore "feminists" (huzzah!).

The issue that I'm blogging about today is one that you've probably heard of. It's quite prevalent in Western feminism today - the Free the Nipple campaign. The point of the campaign is relatively simple on paper - to make it socially acceptable for women to go completely topless in public if they choose to and to get websites such as Facebook to relax their censorship rules and make them the same as the rules regarding male nipples. But in practice, it is so much more difficult!

Social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram remove pictures of topless women as they "violate their community standards". It says on the Facebook Community Standards page, "We remove photographs of people displaying genitals or focusing in on fully exposed buttocks. We also restrict some images of female breasts if they include the nipple."

This condition specifically singles women's nipples out as something so inappropriate that it is not fit for the public to see. Why? Anatomically, men and women's chests are the same, all that is different is that generally, women have more breast tissue. So if you disagree and feel that women shouldn't be allowed to expose their breasts, then ask yourself why. Why is something that is anatomically the same treated differently between males and females? That my friends, is pretty much the definition of double standards.

A reason why you may disagree with the Free the Nipple campaign may be that you think that children shouldn't see such things, they're too young and people would get too aroused etc.. Let me dispel that for you - you believe this because you have grown up in an era where women are hyper-sexualised. If the only place that we see female nipples is porn or during sex, then of course women's nipples will continue to be associated with sex, despite sex being their secondary purpose. Meaning that "Freeing the Nipple" will remain a taboo. Not only this, but as that is the only place we see them, women are expected to have perfectly symmetrical, perfect sized, perfectly coloured, perfect perfect nipples, which is hardly ever the case. This leads to body confidence issues, despite them being totally unnecessary; although we are all different, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

As a world, we are able to picture, exploit and buy women's bodies. In magazines, on videos and in the flesh. But as women ourselves, we are unable to expose ourselves or live with the freedom to make our own decisions regarding our bodies. Thus they are not our own, they belong to those who can objectify and sell them. But we are not products - we are more powerful than those who can sell us. Only when women have stopped being hyper-sexualised will they gain their full and deserved respect; allowing women to have the choice on whether or not to go topless (like men already have) will be a massive step towards this and equality.

Freeing the nipple will, with time, take away the skewed view of women's nipples as sexual objects and they will finally be normalised, as normal as a man's nipple.

I won't lie, if tomorrow we woke up and it was socially acceptable to bare all if we wanted to, it wouldn't be the first thing on my to do list. I don't particularly want people to see my nipples (I have grown up in an era where women are hyper-sexualised, remember?) but it's the element of choice which is an issue. Men are allowed to have the privilege of choice as to whether they would like to go topless, women are not. I would argue that few women's first priority would be to walk around the streets wearing no top or bra, but few men do. It's not the act itself, it's the principle.

I've read so many different opinions on this, including a man calling the activists "sluts" for wanting to "Free the Nipple," - no this is not a bunch of sluts itching for the chance to show a nipple, this is 21st Century feminism.

Having read this, you may still think that women should cover up and have more self respect and decency - but then you are only fueling the fallacy that men and women are equal and have equal rights. If you really think about the logical reasons as to why women are not allowed this privilege, I doubt you can - because really, there aren't any.

To finish off I just want to say how our troubles that we can't show a little nip may seem like a drop in the ocean compared to Malala Yousafzai, the young girl who was shot in the head by Taliban fighters for voicing her views upon girls in education - but all struggles are relative. So while we pray for (and join!) Malala's fight, we will also fight our own - one nip at a time.

Sources
http://mashable.com/2015/03/16/facebook-new-community-standards/#LpMpSm9KB5km
http://freethenipple.com/

To the Man who called me fat on Saturday night,

You probably don't remember me, but I won't forget you. I think that's funny. Something that may be a passing comment for one, will linger in the thoughts of others, floating up and down, coming into sight every so often and at points, consuming them. I won't think of you all the time, I may go for months without thinking about you, but I will remember.

The same way that when I was 11 years old, I remember that I came in crying to my parents because a boy who I was playing on the green with had called me fat. The exact same way that in Year 9 on a school trip to Newquay I wore a bikini as I felt comfortable around my friends, I was called fat by a different boy and haven't felt comfortable since. The same way a man did exactly what you did a few years previous and brought me to tears whilst out with my friends. I will remember like I remember all of these.

You don't know this, you don't know my history or how I have struggled with my body image virtually my whole life. You don't know that you have only added to how awful it makes me feel. You don't know that, that night before I went out, I was in tears because I didn't feel comfortable with how I looked.

Now the thing is Man, eating disorders are serious illnesses; it might not even shock you to find out that you may be part of the reason that anorexia exists, and that it has the highest fatality rate of any mental illness.

You are the reason that I have tried and I have once before made myself sick because I have felt so disgusted with myself.

You are the reason that I will go on believing that I am unattractive and therefore won't get undressed in front of my boyfriend, despite him telling me every single day that I am beautiful.

But the thing is, if I had to identify myself and could only choose one characteristic - it would not be that I am fat. I have fat, like you probably do yourself, but that is not what I am.

I am.

I am kind-hearted. I am happy. I am loved. But I am also human, so no matter how many times that I tell myself these things, your comments still sting.

Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies - so just remember that 9 girls out of 10 that you see on the street are likely to be deeply offended if you were to comment negatively on their appearance - don't do it at all.

I will probably never see you again, but I hope that you will one day know that what you say can have a lasting effect on people, like it has on myself. I am not alone in this, many other people will not forget things that have upset them. If what you're saying is purely negative, then it is never worth reaching your lips.

Think twice before saying something that will not benefit your character or contribute to the happiness of someone else,
Leah.

http://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/statistics-studies
https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-body-image